out of the corner of my eye,
you have become Marvin
the husband of Isabella, the crane welder,
the wiry union man, your father.

At your wedding,
he winked at me, me
with half a drink, him
with an empty hand.

“What, boy, you drink alone?”

Obediently and repeatedly, I
the extra son for the day,
got us both a beer,
getting me

just as drunk as he
knew I’d be. Today
your drag on the cigarette
is the slow breathing of smoke,
the movement in and out,
that killed him. Your lungs,
for a moment, his.

I have looked in the mirror
and seen Runar, husband of Betty,
union blacksmith, paper mill worker,
my father, staring back.

A tomato on toothpicks,
I called him, barrel gut
over thin legs, no ass-
now my body in morning light.

When I yell the boys faster down the stairs,
as they dawdle toward a cooling dinner,
I hear his voice coming from me.
His choice of tone and word,
his phrasing and cadence catch

in my throat as I wonder
in that moment
whose heart rages in my chest.
John Peter Beck

 

John Beck is a Michigan State University professor and co-director of the MSU’s Labor Education Program and oversees the popular “Our Daily Work/Our Daily Lives” series. Click here to read more about Beck and his program. Beck is also the co-editor of the new book “Detroit Resurgent” published by the MSU Press. The book is a collection of photographs of Detroit residents by the noted photographer Gilles Perrin with stories by Nicole Ewenczyk.