This was an actual AP story out of Boston. But just so I could assure myself that I wasn’t being punked, I Googled “Splash†and sure enough, there were a dozen stories about the death of the beloved canine, revered in the Kennedy family.
So, this takes me back to about four years ago. I had read a news story that Ted Kennedy had written a book for children about Capitol Hill from his dog Splash’s perspective. Aw, nothing says welcome to Washington like a little story from the Senator’s dog.
But something niggled at me and, like a dog with a bone, I couldn’t let go.
Some of us are old enough to remember Chappaquiddick. I know there is redemption, and Ted Kennedy did many good things in his life, but leaving his girlfriend trapped in a car at the bottom of the river isn’t one of them.
So, I wrote to Senator Kennedy’s Senate office stating how I thought, in light of the fact the Mr. and Mrs. Kopechne are still having to live each day without their daughter, that maybe, just maybe Senator Kennedy should name his dog Fido, or Rover, or ANYTHING but Splash.
I’m wondering if O.J. Simpson named his dog Slash, or if Marvin Gaye’s dad named his dog Bang, or if Lizzie Borden named her dog Chop - you get my drift.
Mr. Kennedy’s office returned my inquiry with a decidedly snippy yet detailed reply informing me that the dog had been pre-owned and came to the Kennedy family with the name Splash. Oh, okay, and as we all know a dog can never be renamed.
The whole idea that an entire news article would revolve around the death of a senator’s dog is just weird, but having it picked up and posted around the country by dozens of news outlets is just a bit sick.
Even sicker is naming your dog Splash after walking home with soggy clothes and getting clearance from your legal team before calling 911.