I’d Know that Avatar Anywhere

I’ll admit it. I love Facebook more than life itself. No wonder there’s a movie out now about the founders, Mark Zuckerberg and Dustin Moscovitz called The Social Network. They’re both billionaires now.

I wonder how many screenplays are in the works for the founders of some of these other sites, shown below with blurbs they use to introduce themselves.

(Note to Hollywood: I’d hold off for a minute here.)

___________________________________________

http://www.hi5.com: Express yourself with custom profiles, avatars, music, and more Find friends and meet cool people like you from all over the world. Play games, flirt, give gifts, or just hang out

I’m exhausted already.

http://www.orkut.com: Just like real life. Share with all or separated groups of friends, controlling who sees what. Connect with your best friend, your boss and your grandma with confidence.

My grandma? You mean like a séance?

http://www.friendster.com: Friendster helps you stay connected with everything that matters to you: friends, family and fun! It’s free to join, so go on, see what all the fuss is about!

I’d been wondering about that fuss.

http://www.bebo.com: Bebo combines community, self-expression and entertainment, enabling you to consume, create, discover, curate and share digital content in entirely new ways.

Ambitious little nerds aren’t they?

http://www.multiply.com: Share your photos, videos, and blog posts safely. Get your real friends and family discussing them.

“discussing…” What am I, Linda Richman from Coffee Talk?

http://www.piczo.com: The most kick-ass content…

Hold on there, big fella.

http://www.last.fm: Last.fm recommends you more music and concerts! We had to invent a word for this, it’s called scrobbling.

Didn’t Beevus and Butthead already invent that word?

http://www.stumbleupon.com:…flip from page to page across more than 500 topics like you would go through your favorite magazine.

Worst promo ever, or what?

http://www.squidoo.com:…makes it easy for you to create “lenses” online. Lenses are pages, kind of like flyers or signposts or overview articles that gather everything you know about your topic of interest-and snap it all into focus. Like the lens of a camera, your perspective on something. (You’re looking at a lens right now).

Wow, are you people from the future?

http://my.opera.com/community/: 5,000,000 members. Take a picture of yourself holding a circular object that resembles the Opera icon, for example a globe, donut, hula hoop, basketball, football, etc.

Oh good lord, off to find something round, I guess…

http://www.imvu.com: Meet New People in 3D. Hang out, chat and have fun in thousands of animated rooms. Meet new friends from all over the world!

I’m guessing average age here is six, other than online predators.

http://slashdot.org: Slashdot is powered by your submissions, so send in your scoop

So without my submissions, pretty much crickets, mm?

http://www.wayn.com: Help people realize their dreams by connecting like-minded people together based on what they would love to do and what you have experienced in the past.

Thanks anyway, I already have a therapist.

http://www.vox.com:Vox has been a fun place to explore, create and connect with your friends. But Vox is closing its doors on September 30, 2010.

NOOOOO!!!!!!

http://www.faceparty.com: Spazlings, Events, Hubs, JunK!, Gossip

I was raised not to call them spazlings

http://www.43things.com: What do you want to do with your life?

You mean there’s still time to change my mind?

http://www.tribe.net: Find your community on tribe.

Well, I am part Chippewa…

http://www.nexopia.com:we have shouts

No clue what this means. Maybe my eight year neighbor can explain it to me.

http://www.care2.com:Social causes

Way too many huggy bears and rainbow unicorns.

http://www.fanpop.com:fanpop is a network of fan clubs for fans of television, movies, music and more to discuss and share photos, videos, news and opinions with fellow fans.

So I become a fan of being a fan and meet other fans?

http://www.zaadz.com: …find more consciousness online.

Just where I go for that: the internet!

http://www.yuwie.com: WELCOME!!!!

That guy on the greeting video is way to chipper. Bye-bye yuwie man.

http://www.eons.com:A site for Baby Boomers. “Play games, build your brain…”

Do I need to wear my sweatpants?

http://www.profileheaven.com:You don’t just get a profile, you get your own little piece of Heaven.

I’ll bookmark this for the next time I’m experiencing hell on earth.

http://www.meetin.org:…how the internet can be used as a powerful tool to help make new friends without cost

No cost? I was just reaching for my credit card!

http://www.takingitglobal.org: Welcome to our redesigned site!

So the design was the reason no one signed up before?

http://www.deadjournal.com:…as you will quickly see, not all journals are apple pie and fruitcakes. Here is where you find the journals that nobody else wants to see, or even host.

I was too afraid to click. Will you go and tell us what’s there?

http://www.yapperz.com: There’s a new kid on the block in the social networking industry.

Are you crazy? Don’t you know what happened to that band once puberty hit?

http://www.intellectconnect.com: Are you a bookworm? Do you love museums? Maybe you’re seeking intelligent conversation. Whether you’re looking for a smart soul mate or friends who share common interests, our service will help you find them… it’s a meeting of the minds.

Oh god, I think I met you people at a Socrates Café event last year.

So the challenge is this: Try to avoid clicking any one of these “triple dubya’s” because chances are if you’ve survived this long without them, you’ll be just fine.

“Are you sure you want to log off now?”

Yep.